If given a chance, I will TOTALLY mess you up...

This is a sponsored post from 8th Continent and BlogHer.

I like to pride myself on the fact that I’ve stumbled upon every conceivable method know to man to screw my kids up.

I’ve made every wrong decision.

I’ve bought every heinous piece of back to school clothing.

I’ve alienated every teacher, coach or friend’s parent in my attempts to “help” my child along the way.

I like to think it’s a talent; my children, however, declare that they are cursed.

While the two older girls are happily away at college, Golden Boy is now the one at the receiving end of my wisdom.

Here is yesterday’s Parenting Lesson number 4,503.

While arranging an “Air-Soft Battle” as the end of the summer celebration, I received a phone call from on of the mothers involved. (Unfortunately, I forgot that tween boys hear everything within a ten mile radius.)

“Golden Boy does NOT want to have the battle unless John can come. Can we perhaps find another day this three-day weekend that will work? He was devastated that John was grounded. Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. THAT will work. Thanks! Bye.” Click.

At this point I heard what sounded like a herd of elephants charging into the room.

“OH MY GOD!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!! You said I was DEVASTATED? Crap. You made it sound like I LOVE him or something! MAN! I am not GAY you know. Good job, Mom. You’ve done it again.”

“I did NOT! I was just talking. I never…”

“Geez mom! Okay. From now on just let ME do the talking.”

Was I sad the girls were gone at college? It appears I still have some major damage I can do right here at home.

Let the fun begin.

The great part of this whole disaster? I know I am NOT ALONE! The good people over at 8^th Continent have gathered hysterical videos of moms JUST LIKE US! You know- the human ones; the moms that make mistakes, that try their best, that love their kids but always feel as if every move they make is the wrong one!

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Yes. Let the fun begin indeed.