Wednesday, September 15, 2010

We may LOOK ordinary, but we are fabulous...

This is sponsored content from BlogHer and ABC's No Ordinary Family.

I’ve spent many a night in bed wondering where I went wrong.

I’ve spent a billion nights schlepping through every hill and dale delivering my children to soccer games, track meets, field hockey tournaments, football games and play dates. I’ve forgotten field trip permission slips, yearbook money, birthday parties, and many important papers.

I’ve embarrassed my children in front of teachers, friends, parents of friends, my co-workers and potential suitors.

My children (Bitchy, Sassy and The Golden Boy), despite all my best efforts, apparently still love me. I offer this as evidence, and will forever refer to it as Exhibit One:

Fortunately for us (can you see my eyes rolling?) Bitchy lives close enough to our house that she can take her evening billion-mile run and come right to our back door.

She walked in the door the other night for a short visit from her college campus and noticed a birthday card on my counter.

“Oh my GOD!” She exclaimed as she grabbed it. “Is that from SASSY? But I thought she HATED you!”

“Me, too!” I said. “Apparently we were wrong.”

And now I have finally realized that this family, this amazingly normal, yelling, fighting family is really INDEED extraordinary.

And each of these surprising moments is a lovely reminder about how wonderful normal really can be.

ABC’s No Ordinary Family hosted a video contest to find the most EXTRADORDINARY family in America and starting September 27th you can help vote for the winner! Between September 27 and October 1, watch the top 5 video submissions and vote for your favorite. Click here for details and be sure to vote!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

If given a chance, I will TOTALLY mess you up...

This is a sponsored post from 8th Continent and BlogHer.

I like to pride myself on the fact that I’ve stumbled upon every conceivable method know to man to screw my kids up.

I’ve made every wrong decision.

I’ve bought every heinous piece of back to school clothing.

I’ve alienated every teacher, coach or friend’s parent in my attempts to “help” my child along the way.

I like to think it’s a talent; my children, however, declare that they are cursed.

While the two older girls are happily away at college, Golden Boy is now the one at the receiving end of my wisdom.

Here is yesterday’s Parenting Lesson number 4,503.

While arranging an “Air-Soft Battle” as the end of the summer celebration, I received a phone call from on of the mothers involved. (Unfortunately, I forgot that tween boys hear everything within a ten mile radius.)

“Golden Boy does NOT want to have the battle unless John can come. Can we perhaps find another day this three-day weekend that will work? He was devastated that John was grounded. Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. THAT will work. Thanks! Bye.” Click.

At this point I heard what sounded like a herd of elephants charging into the room.

“OH MY GOD!!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!! You said I was DEVASTATED? Crap. You made it sound like I LOVE him or something! MAN! I am not GAY you know. Good job, Mom. You’ve done it again.”

“I did NOT! I was just talking. I never…”

“Geez mom! Okay. From now on just let ME do the talking.”

Was I sad the girls were gone at college? It appears I still have some major damage I can do right here at home.

Let the fun begin.

The great part of this whole disaster? I know I am NOT ALONE! The good people over at 8th Continent have gathered hysterical videos of moms JUST LIKE US! You know- the human ones; the moms that make mistakes, that try their best, that love their kids but always feel as if every move they make is the wrong one!

Do you have a story? Can you share something that will make the rest of us feel normal? Tell me here, and you will have the chance to win an amazing price from 8th Continent, and along with that the respect of every other “normal” mother out there. In order to qualify you can post your idea here on Facebook, or Follow on Twitter here; and leave a comment below! And if you leave a comment HERE, you can win a $100 gift card from ME!!! Yes, I will be doing a random drawing for a prize RIGHT HERE.

Also, be SURE to visit special offers page" at Blogher for a chance to win more!

Yes. Let the fun begin indeed.